I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
