and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
