Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
