you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
