take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Randomize
