i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
