As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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