It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
