nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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