dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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