i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
