ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
