when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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