Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
