He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
