Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
