No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
