Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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