I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We have started to decorate penises.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
