Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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