dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
