the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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