so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
