"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
