please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Randomize
