I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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