Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
