I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
