you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
