You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
