Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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