North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
