I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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