yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
