All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
