the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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