Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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