Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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