I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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