So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
is that a dick in a sweater?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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