Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
