We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I got chris browned last night
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
