But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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