btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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