I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
