im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
