I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
