I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
