i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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