if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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