it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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